Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Could a canary swim?

(952): View more from Minnesota

Last time I ever let you pet sit.

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(518): View more from New York

They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.

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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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(330): View more from Ohio

giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice

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(513): View more from Ohio

i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter

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