I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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