I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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