my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
