Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
