**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
