omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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