pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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