They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
