Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
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Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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