she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
