New invention idea: vibrating tampons
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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