i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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