the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
