Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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