See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
