But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
