so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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