i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
