just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's just like the Real World with babies
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind