i permit you to call me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Let's paint friendship bongs
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!