I am puke
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.