Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
