Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
