i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
