I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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