it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize