I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't turn off my feet"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
