ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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