My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
