i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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