Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
