dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
