: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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