I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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