Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
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I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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