I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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