Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
