your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
