11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Well now Iām in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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