i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
