i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
