I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
