He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
