Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
