I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
