My friends, they love my intelligence
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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