Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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