There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
