HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
