I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
