If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My hand turned me down
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Randomize
