I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
