And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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