she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
