matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
