I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
