There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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