Just fell off a train. Bad.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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