After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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