dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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