WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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