Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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