it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
