I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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