Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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